Divorce can trigger a tangle of emotions that you may struggle to sift through. Feeling emotionally off-balance can leave you with unhealthy coping strategies, such as comparing yourself with your ex. Learn how to make it through this emotional thicket and sift through the fog of frustration.

Psychology Today has tips for lifting yourself out of comparison. Your life may not be on an ideal path, but that does not mean you are without control.

People heal at different rates

It may seem as if your former spouse is on a fast track to emotional recovery while you feel yourself moving at a slug’s pace. Recognize that people not only heal at their speed, but they also heal in their way. Just because you are not dating like your ex does not mean you are not moving on.

You can make the most of your newfound freedom

Right now, you may still default to thinking of your former spouse when shopping for groceries she or he likes, engaging in activities the two of you did together or even watching movies and shows you used to share. One of the favorable circumstances of divorce is you no longer have to compromise or consider someone else’s wants and desires when making everyday decisions.

Additionally, your ex likely had habits or quirks that irked you, ones that drove home your comparative differences, no matter how hard you tried to accept them. Now, you no longer have to deal with that.

Concentrate on your health and new life after divorce. Comparing yourself to your ex does nothing but hold you back.